Email: angelskuuipo@yahoo.com
Pairing: Angelus/Willow
Rating: pg-13/R (references to bdsm and torture)
Distribution: Check me out! Some of my stories are now archived at Souls in Peril. Thanks Missy! Also Red's Soulmates and Vampire Haven can have any of my stuff. Anyone else just ask. I'll say yes, just want to know where it's going.
Disclaimer: I bow to the altar of the genius that is Joss. Angel and co. aren't mine. I'm only playing and promise to return them when I'm done though Angel will probably be late; he's such a nummy treat. No insult, infringement, or injury is intended.
Spoilers: up to and including 'Passion'
Feedback: Crave it like the little praise whore I am.
Author's Note: This is a sequel to 'Amends'. Again this is unbetaed so any mistakes are solely mine. *Big waves* to everyone who's sent me feedback on the other pieces in the series. Thanks so very much, especially Gabrielle whose Dollhouse series played a part in the format for this. You're the best. For Rosa: thank you, thank you, thank you for your help with CT. *Sends big hugs over the net*
Summary: Willow's thoughts
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I have moved on from confused to cautious and wary. I'm being prudently watchful and discreet in the face of danger or risk. Can you blame me? This last week has seemed more like a freakin' 'Twilight Zone' episode than anything else that's happened to me on the Hellmouth.
Angelus is being nice. And I don't mean in a you're-lucky-I-haven't-killed-you-yet
way. I mean actually nice. He hasn't laid a hand on me in anger
or in the other way I was figuring he would when my monthly started.
We sleep in the same bed every night, but he's kept his hands to himself.
The day I woke up unchained is when this new game started. He bought
me food, clothes, shoes. Since then he's brought me books, CD's and
movies. I had no idea he had an entertainment center in here.
And we've talked. Angelus is a very intelligent, well-read vampire. I don't know how much of that was Angel's doing, but the result is the same. Angelus is smart. We've debated on lots of subjects. And he actually listens to me. I even got him to change his own opinion a couple of times and I've changed a couple of mine.
He's told me funny stories about him and Dru and Spike, heavily edited I'm sure, but they're still funny. And I unclenched and told him some stories about growing up with Jesse and Xander.
Angelus loves Spike. He hasn't said anything to that effect, but I can tell just by the way he speaks of his bleached blonde childe. His features soften and this unconscious little smile plays on his mouth.who knew The Scourge of Europe could love? It's not a hearts and flowers kind of love, but it's still love.
I'm beginning to like the guy. I know, gave me a major wiggins when it dawned on me too. The bastard beats me for three weeks then does a complete 180 and starts, I don't know.it's almost as if he's.courting me. I have to admit I like the attention. He's always giving me compliments on how I look and that's something I'm not used to hearing. I like the clothes he bought for me. He's got good taste.
But it's not just that. He compliments my mind too and if there's one thing that'll get you into my good graces it's acknowledging my intelligence. I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but I'm damn smart and I liked to be recognized for that fact once in a while.
The Scoobies take me for granted. I know it, but I haven't done anything about it, because it makes me feel needed. I've started to wonder if they miss me at all. Oh I know Giles is missing my computer expertise and Buffy is probably missing her shoulder to cry on, and Xander is missing me doing his homework for him but do they miss me? Me, Willow Rosenberg, not the hacker, or net girl, or research girl, or homework girl, but me the person.
I just wish I knew what Angelus wants from me. I've tried asking him what his plans are for me, but he just sidesteps or ignores my questions completely. It's getting frustrating and fueling my wariness more. I feel like the Christmas goose that's being fattened up for slaughter. I know it can't last like this forever, but I've been alone and neglected for so long that I can't help but soak up all of the attention he's bestowing on me.
Am I broken?
I'm beginning to accept that I'm here for the long haul. It bothers me that I've gotten to this point already and am taking it so well. If Angelus keeps treating me like I matter to him and lays off on the torture I could probably be happy here. As of now I'm not lacking for any physical comforts and I have his companionship. I'm not bored. I mean yeah I miss my computer and I kind of miss my friends, but as strange as this sounds, I feel safe here.
I'm losing my mind. That's the only explanation. How can I feel safe being held captive by a vicious killer? Come on Rosenberg, one week of pampering and your ready to give in to whatever he has planned for you? Get a grip girl.
I have to remember that he's always got a plan. I have to stay on my toes and not get complacent.
****
He kissed me.
I've had free reign of his rooms for two weeks now and this is the first time he's touched me. And he kissed me. Oh it wasn't a toe-curling, earth shattering, breathtaking kind of kiss. It was just a simple brush of his lips against mine before he left to hunt, but it was beautiful.
He cupped my cheek and looked at me with his dark chocolate brown eyes and said, "Soon" before turning and walking out the door.
Soon what? Screw cautious, I'm back to being confused.
The end